woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just invented taco cereal.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize