They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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