I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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