So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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