I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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