I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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