Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
