he puts the penis in happiness.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
