I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize