it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
