Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
