"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Are we still banned from the library?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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