before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
