well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
