i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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