We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
