I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
