He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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