I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
