I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
