she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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