he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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