Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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