Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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