i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize