obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
