tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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