i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
