So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
