well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
