Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
