my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
