actually, I'm a sock model
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
