3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
