so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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