But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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