if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
