I only kidnapped one of them. chill
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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