You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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