His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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