I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
