WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
