Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
