I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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