I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize