how can u be prego again
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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