I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
