My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
