i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
