who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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