my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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