Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There r osticjed everywhere
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
