Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
