What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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