in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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