Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
