I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Alive.
So much puke
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
