bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
