like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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