careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize