Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
